the sugar machine

the sugar machine is a sonic embodiment of the melancholy nostalgia that comes with growing older. It is a pursuit and celebration of child-like wonder, ignorance, and innocence. It is the grief that comes with chasing ignorant, innocent bliss. It is one of the ways we have felt closest to our younger selves.

the sugar machine is any way that one finds themselves trying to access the younger, more carefree part of their past. From creating something to letting go of inhibition, we all use the sugar machine in some way. Through the sugar machine we try to access the awe of discovery that we can never hold again, a perspective that is temporally limited and a curiosity we yearn for.

the sugar is the element of innocent sweetness of the uneducated child, taking in all its surroundings, and utilizing the pure mind to imagine things beyond the adult’s wildest dreams.

the machine aspect comes into play as a construct that approaches things from an engineering or learned mindset that is more typical of adults, and sometimes that can hinder the free flowing creativity and imaginations of young children, where knowledge has not brought on limitation. 

we chase the sugar by creating the machine.

youth (make it last)

levitating my mood

i haven't found a better way

the way i felt it yesterday

and i'll only wait if i could

gonna make it last another year 

animated and loose

i haven't thought about the day

that i'll be slowing down 

i'll hang onto my youth

i'm gonna make it last another year 

before

i don’t believe the great

in somebody is their self

but does it join you when you're born

or only here and there?

i love that everything we share is about

making the most

just tell me how you let it go?

i don’t mind more

it keeps me floating higher

this is how it goes

as i edge close to admire

but before i do it i lose it

but before i do it i lose

sensation

all the situations I’ve thrown myself and faked in

but before i do it i lose it

from august to autumn

post summer down time

i'm pounding the pavement

then wiping my hands dry

do i really help myself by making friends with ghosts

i just want to ask where they go?  

i don’t mind more

it keeps me floating higher

this is how it goes

as i edge close to admire

but before i do it i lose it

but before i do it i lose

sensation

all the situations I’ve thrown myself and faked in

but before i do it i lose it

sunny eyes (anymore)

someday i am going to live in the moment

honey i cannot afford enemies

sunny eyes

just let it out

i wouldn't know better

maybe i won't know til i don’t want anymore

til i don't want anymore

(don't want anymore, don't want anymore)

mind if i settle down for the moment?

i tell you i don't want to dream about it

over and over (and over)

so tell me where you're gonna be and i can go there

and i know you wont like

if i don't want it anymore

(i don't want it anymore, i don't want it anymore)

so i don't want to know, want to know now

i don't want to know, want to know

i don't want to know, want to know yet

i don't want to know, want to know yeah

maybe i'm just bored here

maybe i just forced it

tell me i could get it right again

if i don't want anymore

(i don't want anymore, i don't want anymore)

setting sun

i'm in a perfect setting

i know i'll find the flame

there's nothing im forgetting

so can we fly away

baby one by one

i'll find

my fun in all

the ways i want

caked in gold

run run run for the setting sun

there she goes

floating on

I’m hiding in the bedding

I’m sure you’ll find a way

let’s celebrate our past adventures

together

so come along

let's chase the sun

I’m hoping you’re the one

caked in gold

run run run for the setting sun

there she goes

floating on

crazy

heavy handed

passive aggression 

mixed emotions

cause you never ask about me 

what we gonna do now? (now)

we could talk about it somehow (how?)

maybe we could get it all out? (wow..)

we’re never gonna get it all out

instead were acting

crazy

we can leave it all on the side 

’til were acting less crazy (crazy)

maybe

we could take a little more time

i just feel a bit lazy

crazy

let’s take baby steps

you’re getting far away

i’m talking too fast

you’re looking like that 

i’m falling off track  

(wow)

crazy

we can leave it all on the side 

’til were acting less crazy (crazy)

maybe

we could take a little more time

i just feel a bit lazy

(crazy)

what does it sound like?

if only

i let myself lie down and go sleep

rest my eyes and dream up some old dreams

then maybe i'll find you before me

cause i

don’t need much

i don’t need much

i don’t need much

i don’t need much

i don't

i don’t need much

it’s only

a matter of time til

you’re lonely

thought about

whatever

you told me

was hoping to wait ’til

the morning

cause i

don’t need much

i don’t need much

i don’t need much

i don’t need much

i don't

but

i guessed wrong

i wasn’t wise

i spread my arms out

to let you lie

but now it’s gone

didn’t think twice

i know it’s easier to get it right

but i have my

stubborn pride

i'll hold on tight

until i start to cry

but you know me

i keep it all

i keep it in

i won't let go 

what does it sound like?

lookalike

you've been looking like 

somebody else in my head

you've been looking

it's the main attraction piece

it's the foregone memory

are we both imagining 

is it wrong?

shying from apologies

feels like such a travesty

cause one by one 

we could knock them down

you've been looking like 

somebody else in my head

you've been looking

my lookalike

you’re looking like

my lookalike

surface

red light slow down

don’t even try to post up

i feel like hiding monsters

see them change in my sleep

file away for those days

sudden shapes in focus

tele-scape in forays

i'll be there for days

i'll even call and say hello

and that i couldn’t come over

honestly i would but 

i’m picking up overtones

uneasy and overgrown

i’m ripping through clothes too worn out

must be half my age i’m sure now

i’m keeping it vague , on purpose

i’m getting too old, and nervous

let's talk about something else

anything to keep it surface 

set fire

light up

and i’m here

dumbstruck

can't celebrate without one

see the change in both ways

a better way to rotate

lay awake in your bed

can't escape what you say

better days are coming back to you

i’m picking up overtones

uneasy and overgrown

i’m ripping through clothes too worn out

must be half my age i’m sure now

i’m keeping it vague , on purpose

i’m getting too old, and nervous

let's talk about something else

anything to keep it surface 

carousel

I’m blurring the line with our old times

crazier things have happened to me

i’m colorblinded

every time the

lighting strikes

i just can't decide what it means to me

(maybe you do?)

is it 

is it what you did?

whispers of your laughter

echo in my head

is it

is it bittersweet?

faces and places

are spinning on repeat

in a carousel of moments

can we reminisce a little more there?

and well,

try as i might i’m still hiding in plain sight

loving you is much easier from a distance

i’m mortified, deeply petrified

by those tender eyes

they shine so bright

it’s the sweetest thing

(baby you)

is it 

is it what you did?

whispers of your laughter

echo in my head

is it

is it bittersweet?

face and places

are spinning on repeat

in a carousel of moments

can we reminisce a little more there?